The Crash Trilogy by Nicole Williams

Author:Nicole Williams [Williams, Nicole]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781471122392
Publisher: Simon & Schuster

TWELVE

I jolted awake, but my jolt fizzled short. I was in the passenger seat of India’s car, the seat belt tight around me, the morning light just starting to stream into the car. I was staring at the ceiling, since my seat was reclined. Unbuckling my belt, I shifted in my seat. We were parked outside of Jude’s house.

Jude was reclined in the driver’s seat, awake, and watching me.

“What time is it?” I asked, shifting farther onto my side to look at him straight on.

“A little after seven, I think,” he said, and the crescents beneath his eyes darkened. I wasn’t sure how long Jude had gone without sleep, but I knew whether it was one night or four nights, it was unhealthy.

I was as unhealthy for him as he was for me.

My first class was at eleven, so there was no way around being late unless I booked twenty miles over the speed limit. “I’ve got to get going,” I said, reaching for the switch on the side of the seat to lift the seat back up.

Jude didn’t move; he just stayed reclined, curled into that position, staring into the space I’d just been asleep in.

Finally, he sighed. “Yeah. I know.”

Moving the seat up, he exited the car. He waited for me as I came around the front, holding the door open and toeing at the ground.

Another good-bye I had to say to Jude, the semipermanent kind, and I didn’t want to do it again.

“Bye,” I whispered, squeezing past him to crawl into the car. The word stuck in my throat, tasting acrid.

His arms suddenly wrapped around me and pulled me against him, surprising me. He held on to me, refusing to let me go, and I let him. In the past, Jude had always felt like the one holding me up when we were close like this, but now it felt like I was the one holding him up.

Nuzzling into my neck, his body shook once. I was going to start sobbing again if he didn’t let me go.

I was one breath breathed against my neck away from dropping my first tear when his arms lifted away, feeling like he was breaking through concrete to free them.

“Bye, Luce,” he whispered, pressing his lips into my temple before turning around and heading into the house.

He didn’t look back once, but I watched him the whole way until he’d disappeared into the house. Crawling into the car, I adjusted the driver’s seat, and right before I pulled away, I glanced up into Jude’s bedroom window. He was taking up the window, watching me with the same brooding expression he had as he walked away from me.

Why did I do this to myself? Why didn’t I just put foot to pedal, not giving the window a second thought?

Of course I knew the answer to that. I loved him.

But sometimes, as I was learning, love just wasn’t enough.

A few weeks went by. A few weeks had never passed so slowly.

Jude kept his word, giving me the space I needed, not so much as sending a “Hey” text my way.

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